I have agency
Helpful thoughts for a life without drama
"I have agency"
Etymology of agency
Agency it is a derivative from ‘agent’, originating from Medieval Latin agentia or Latin agēns (to act) which inherently implies having the capacity or being in the condition/state of exerting power.
Hopeless passivity
One of the most insidious messages I have absorbed in childhood is that most of the time, we are not able to directly exert influence over our circumstances. Instead, we must gratefully accept what is given to us, neither wanting nor asking for more. This way of thinking doesn’t allow for ‘agency’, creating a state of hopeless passivity instead. Believing we have agency implies that we are always able to act (mentally and actively) whilst taking full responsibility for our (in)actions; in short, we possess true free will. Leaving the discussion of the existence of free will to one side for the moment being, I want to focus on what it means of not only having choice but also the capacity to consciously choose in moments even when it seems that our situation is governed by factors outside of our control.
An absence of a ’good’ choice
When we are faced with a situation in which we have already mentally collapsed multiple choices to two opposites (to stay or leave, to spend or save, etc.), both of which seem equally undesirable, we conclude that we don’t have a choice. The interesting aspect here is that we still have choices, even though we may not deem them ‘good’. Holding on to the notion that we are bereft of choice keeps us stuck and disempowered to move forward. Even the thought ‘I don’t like my choices’ is more empowering than ‘I haven’t got a choice’ and may lead to discovering a third, unifying option previously not considered.
Staying off the blame train
Another reason why we believe that we are powerless is refusal to recognise our part in creating/contributing to the current (undesirable)circumstances. Believing ourselves to be blameless victims of a cruel fate may protect us from an inner tirade of blame and shame, but it doesn’t help us shape our life according to our will. When we are afraid to look at the part we played, we cannot clearly see that we had choices we did (not) make. Being curious why we acted in certain ways will help us stay off the blame train and discover and overcome limitations. Having agency here means the ability to look at circumstances with the cool eyes of analysis and the tender heart of self-care that refuses to turn observation into an opportunity to beat ourselves up. If we stay curious as to why we have acted/not acted, we may yet turn the tide and take actions aligned with our true values.
Choosing one’s attitude
Let us now look at circumstances in which we seem truly bound. Hopefully none of us will ever find ourselves in such precarious circumstances as Viktor Frankl who experienced the horrors of concentration camps in the second world war and has written extensively about his experiences in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning.’ His most famous quote “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” teaches us that even in circumstances of apparent inability to exact any (physical) power or will, we still retain a not insignificant measure of control. We may not be able to make a choice to change our circumstances, but we can always choose how we think or feel about it. It may seem strange or even impossible to think that even in such dark environs we may actively affect anything but if we accept the possibility that we have control over our thoughts then, even then, we can shape our beliefs to our design, not the design of others. To actively choose who we are in any given situation is the root of real power.
It is in particular this last sentiment that I want to keep firmly anchored in my mind. Knowing that I have the power to stay aligned with my values regardless of circumstance is truly potent. I am holding the key to unlock the next chapter of my life.
Learn more about thought work:
https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/the-society/




